Friday, October 21, 2016

Except Death and Taxes and School Pick Up Problems

Dear you,

Hi there! We haven't met so I thought I would introduce myself.  I am a mom of two, a fifth and a third grader, at the school our kids attend.  You might recognize my car, as you drive by it nearly every day when you pass me (and plenty other parents) 10 minutes before school gets out to park at the very front of the pick up line.

In a spot that is not a spot.

Genius!  I mean why should you get to school early like many of us other parents do and park appropriately in the pick up lane when you can just come nearly at the last minute, go around a line of 30 vehicles, and park in a spot that is not a spot? Why didn't I think of that?

You probably have special circumstances.  I'm sure you think that NOBODY else in the pick up lane,  many of whom have been sitting there waiting for 30-45 minutes have ANYTHING better that they could be doing with their time.

I especially loved the day that you were parked there and ran over to grab your child and then once you were back in your car proceeded to sit there ON YOUR PHONE while the large, correctly parked, SUV behind you  that you partially blocked with your spot that is not a spot had to maneuver intricately in a forward and reverse symphony in order to get out and around you.  That was rad.

Oh, and then there are the days that you or a friend of yours arrives and instead of parking in a spot that is not a spot you park in the teacher parking lot.  In a handicapped space.  There's TWO of those spots at the school.  And guess what, we actually do have people at our school with bona fide permits to use these spaces.  Makes it kind of difficult to do so when you are parking there "really quick".

In your defense I'm sure you just somehow missed reading the detailed drop off and pick up instructions, maybe you didn't get them. I mean they were only included on a paper that went home, numerous weekly email updates from the Pricipal, the school newsletter, a couple of emails sent to classroom families, the school website, and the school Facebook page.  I'm also guessing that the people who have come up to you and asked you directly not to park in those places were probably speaking very very softly. I mean it's noisy outside.  All that air.

Are you the only person who doesn't follow the drop off/pick up instructions?  Heck no!  There's the early droppers, the people who drop their kids off BEFORE they are in the official drop off area -  usually in front of the playground (holds up the line).  There are the huggers, who insist on getting out of their car and walking around to give their child a "quick" squeeze goodbye (holds up the line).  There's the pick up parkers, who park in the pick up lane but GET OUT to go get their kid.  Cars move up but not them because they're not IN THE CAR (holds up the line, pisses people off). It's easy to do - even I have been guilty of some of these trangressions in prior school years.

But I digress, this post is about you and your spot that is not a spot.  What was really awesome was that the other day someone else decided to park there for pick up.  PEOPLE ARE CATCHING ON!  I like to amuse myself by taking pictures of "rogue" pick up cars and posting them on Snapchat.  My mom friends get it but I'm sure my other Snapchat friends (there's like 6 of those) are pretty annoyed with my posts because they haven't yet had the pleasure of dealing with school drop off/pick up yet.  I totally understand, when I saw originally saw Mr. Mom I just thought that lady in charge of directing traffic at the school was just NUTS.  I'm so sorry school traffic lady.  I get it now.

Do I have more important things to worry about besides where you park for pick up? Probably!  And once I get home I will forget all about my annoyance. Until about 2:50 PM the next day.

But hey, don't worry about the rest of us, by all means PLEASE park wherever you like and go get your kid.  We'll wait.


One (of many)

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Tuesday, October 18, 2016


Eleven years ago today (how can it be that long ago?) you entered this world and taught me that anything I thought I would know or expect about having a child was WRONG WRONG WRONG.

My skills were sketchy to begin with - I was never the one in line to hold babies when I was around them.  I didn't baby sit - except for ONE time when the kid wore cloth diapers and I had NO idea how to change them or rather fasten them back together even remotely the right way. As soon as I picked him back up again - off came the diaper.  Probably more than once. I think I just gave up and apologized a lot to the parents.  And then I NEVER did it again.

Despite my reluctance to engage with babies and small humans I always knew I would want to have my own children some day.

Fast forward many years and I got lucky enough to meet a guy who already had a child and KNEW how to change diapers and rock babies and hold bottles. And then you arrived and I will never say those first few months were easy, I struggled so much to adjust to being a mom and feeling comfortable taking care of you on my own.  But you weren't going anywhere and didn't complain too much and your father helped so much in the beginning (well he still helps, I just REALLY needed it then). Eventually I got the hang of it and life settled down and suddenly it's eleven years later and I can't quite wrap my brain around how fast time zooms by.

You're eleven!

I want you to know how loved you are.  I want you to know that you are unique, and smart, and beautiful.  You feel things so deeply and thoughtfully that sometimes it seems like you are much older than you are.  Then you start arguing with me about (insert just about ANY topic here) and I am reminded that yep, you're still a kid.

And you'll always be my baby.

Happy Birthday.
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