It all starts innocently enough.
I might be walking along, minding my own business, when I see the signs all around me:
“This is the perfect opportunity to scare somebody.”
And by somebody I mean my husband. It’s not like I get these impulses in public, ready to pounce on the next unsuspecting shopper who dares enter the toiletry aisle I happen to be loitering in at Target.
That would be wrong. And a little mental. So cross “scare stranger in public places” off the list.
And I probably certainly won’t try to scare my children.
So, my husband it is.
Take this weekend for example.
I was walking downstairs, early in the morning, with absolutely NO intention of doing anything other than heading towards the coffee.
But, ahead of me, I saw it.
The perfect opportunity.
My husband had gone outside to get the paper.
He left the front door open.
I was pretty sure he was unaware I had gotten up and was headed downstairs.
So, without thinking much about the potential consequences, I hop behind the front door, waiting for his return.
Then, as he comes back inside, I pop out, yelling the classic and very important scaring line of “BOO!”.
Nope, he didn’t know I was up.
The look on his face was priceless.
I scared him, and I scared him good.
Now, I am no fool. I do not pretend to presume that I can scare somebody like that (and by “somebody” I mean my husband) without anticipating some sort of retaliation.
And I HATE to be scared. Just hate it.
So, for days afterward I will be “on the prowl”. Seeing a partially open door and wondering who (and by who I mean my husband) might be lurking behind, waiting for revenge.
And retaliate he does.
And yet, even armed with the knowledge that if I simply stopped scaring him I could probably rest easy, I just can’t resist these “opportunities” when they are so blatantly there for the taking.
But no one can charge me with pre-meditated scaring.
It all starts innocently enough….
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